David’s Decline//Car Wreck

We were enjoying life at Brandermill Independent Living : the many activities, trips, plays, the swimming pool, other exercises.  We ate with many persons in the Bistro and Oscars but we usually kept Sunday evening for ourselves. We had gotten into the habit of eating a Big Mac from McDonald’s at home.  On this particular Sunday evening while David was picking up our hamburgers I decided I had just enough time to wash my hair.  We proceeded.  But I finished my hair and still—no David.  It was beginning to get dark and I was beginning to worry.  Where was David?  Finally the phone rang.  It was David!  He was lost and didn’t know where he was.  This was my first clue that David was beginning to decline. 
We continued our usual activities at Brandermill Woods.  David kept up his gardening and walking but he was seeing his doctor regularly now.
I was never a good driver but now I found myself as  designated driver to these appointments.  Once we were late getting  out of an appointment.  It was twilight and Rush Hour.  I decided to bypass the driveway to our cottage and continue on to the drug store (the doctor had prescribed new medicine for David) Brandermill Pky had a double row of four lanes at a stop light. I realized I was  in the wrong lane to turn to the drug store so I decided to keep going straight.  Bad Idea! I was right in the middle of the big four way stop light. No other cars.  I was alone and the light had turned RED. Coming quickly from a right lane was another car.  The license read “Dirty Dan.”  It crashed into me on David’s side. He was not hurt but his door was smashed in.  It could not be opened. I was able to maneuver the car off the main highway and we sat there in shock until the police arrived.  They prided open David’s door and took him immediately to the hospital.  I was driven back to our cottage in a police car.  Our car was totaled!
The next episode in David’s decline was a series of falls.  First one was on the hard garage floor.  I could not get him up though I tried and tried. Finally I called Security and they lifted David right up.  Next he fell in our shower. Again I called Security and again-success.  The third fall was in the bathroom at the clubhouse.  This time it took three Security men to get him up and they suggested to me that I ought to consider getting help.
I didn’t want to leave Brandermill Woods.  I tried several helpers.  Then I decided to try Hospice.  They were wonderful.  They brought in a special bed and chair for David, one member bathed him, another baby-sat with him while I shopped.  All seemed to be going well—until I fell.  I had gone grocery shopping on the Shuttle and as I was getting off I fell flat in our front yard. I couldn’t move.  I had broken my pelvic!  Norma, the Brandermill nurse called an ambulance and I was rushed to the hospital. Fortunately, Hospice had a “Hospice House” and they took David there.
The following week I was moved to the Haven (Brandermill’s recovery section).  They found a room for David right across the hall.  We were here, side-by-side, until David’s health declined further.  He was then moved to Health care.  I had a room above him in Assisted care.  We could not continue to pay three rents—David’s health care, my Assisted living and the rent on our cottage in Independent  living.  So I moved permanently to Assisted living.
The children and grandchildren gathered closely and were here when David died.  On June 27, 2022 David breathed his last.